The third load of laundry is rattling away in the washer downstairs as The Simpsons prattle away on the television. I have no lesson plans set up for tomorrow. I've corrected nothing over the weekend. And I cried, for absolutely no reason, while eating a giant Caesar salad about an hour ago.
I feel depressed and I can't quite put my finger on it. I know that some of it is stress and some because of the time of year. My job is becoming less engaging as policies change drastically and I don't feel like I'm making a difference anymore.
And to top off the week, was the unbelievably horrific news about the deranged shooter in Connecticut. It just makes me sick. Especially the idiotic comments from people on Facebook who want to politicize this tragedy. Children, and the adults protecting those children, have died. Their families are in agony right now and people want to point fingers in all directions.
Jeff, my fiance, shared a thought, a quote, yesterday and I wish I could remember who originally said it. But it explains how I feel. Here it is, as best as I recall him saying it:
"An adult who loses a spouse is called a widow or a widower. A child who loses his or her parents is called an orphan. There is no name, no term to call a parent who loses his or her child."
I gave him an answer, a term. The term is destroyed.
With this in mind, I need to start practicing being more thankful. My concerns are trivial and I have no right to be depressed. I've never been asked to suffer like this and I pray that I never will.
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