America's Next Top Model

Okay. I'll admit it. My tasteless choice for a television show was, at one time, America's Next Top Model. Why? Schadenfreuder. Loosely translated as "shameful pleasure", it's a wonderful German term about deriving pleasure from others' misfortunes. Nothing made me laugh harder than to watch the human stick insects on this show fall down or have a hissy fit over bad pictures, lighting, or nasty behavior from the other contestants. Having always been one of the faceless, plump, brunettes that society shuns, I got a sick, twisted pleasure in watching "the beautiful girls" cry. Plus, the vast majority of these young ladies had an IQ of about 70 and couldn't find their way out of a paper bag with a flashlight and a GPS.
So, why bring up a show that I've finally managed to ween myself off of viewing?
Engagement pictures. Yes, you read that correctly, engagement pictures. My fiance and I dressed up and went to the site where we're going to get hitched to have a series of photos taken and hopefully used in a wedding sign in album. [Sidebar...very cool idea where the guest sign in book actually has photos of us on each page!]
Anyway, the only photos I've ever had taken "professionally" of me have been seated on a stool in the school gym. Even my senior class pictures for the yearbook were taken at school, in an office above the auditorium. I still hate that picture...but I digress. I have never been on the other end of a camera with a lens the size of a cannon and a photographer running around me trying to get "natural" shots. And the constant noise of the camera going sounded like an extended version of "Girls On Film" by Duran Duran. [Yeah, I'm totally aware of how much that comment just dated me. I don't care!]
Basically, after an hour of giggling my ass off, feeling stupid, and trying to act natural, all the while feeling like a bug under a giant microscope, I started to understand why some of those girls cracked under the pressure. I was stressing out just trying to get some nice engagement pictures. I wasn't some inexperienced twenty-year old who'd pinned all my hopes and dreams on winning a contest, only to be mocked and ridiculed on national television by the show's judges and the world. That part had never really occurred to me before.
My experience with the camera is over, at least until April, when we go through all of this again for the wedding. Until then, I can go on my merry way and only hope that a couple of my photos capture the moment and not the mediocre.